


in her shadow

by n7punk



Series: Outside of the War - She-ra canon stories [6]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Colorblind Catra (She-Ra), F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Pining, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n7punk/pseuds/n7punk
Summary: Scorpia and Catra are friends – according to Scorpia. They aren’t Adora and Catra, they never can be. That doesn’t mean Scorpia doesn’t try.“This is the first time I’ve seen you happy.” How? She used to carry joy in her heart - but Scorpia never met that Catra. That Catra died the day Adora walked away.(Scorpia and Catra, throughout the years. One-sided/Pining Scorptra).
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), One-sided Catra/Scorpia
Series: Outside of the War - She-ra canon stories [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793227
Comments: 12
Kudos: 233





	in her shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Oof I’ve been wanting to do this fic since the finale but I really needed to rewatch in order to get the dynamic down. I forgot how utterly gay Scorpia was for Catra in the early seasons.  
> CONTENT WARNING: Brief implied/referenced self-harm on Catra’s part a few times. The scene starting with the line “She doesn’t know why Scorpia came for her.” includes suicidal thoughts/suicide idealization. There are also just a lot of self-destructive tendencies in this fic, but it is Catra so. you can kind of just expect that.

Catra decides she hates Scorpia before she even meets the other woman, really. She hears the call of “Kitty!” and knows she wants to slice off the face of whoever has dared to call her that after all these years. She barely gets to turn around to do it before she is being touched, hugged, _lifted from the fucking ground_.

It is a rough start.

Scorpia is a temporary problem, at first. Someone she has to deal with to get where she wants to go – to get to Adora. Not unlike Lonnie, or the other cadets who learned what happened to people who called her “Kitty.”

The situation turns out not to be temporary. Adora ran off to play hero, but she is not coming _back_. Shadow Weaver keeps trying and failing, and Catra wants her best friend back, but she also knows she means nothing to Adora now, never _did_. Adora left her alone, left her for dead. How are they supposed to repair that? Why is she even supposed to try, to listen, when Adora is the one who broke her heart without a second thought, eighteen years meaning _nothing_ to her?

Scorpia wants to be her friend, but Catra knows _better_ now. Knows friendship is a joke, a weakness that gets you hurt. Still, Scorpia is _useful_ if nothing else. Not in most ways, but she can at least offer physical strength, a convenient nail file, and a stroke to Catra’s fragile ego.

Scorpia is _grating_ , though. She is too similar to Adora. It makes Catra furious, sometimes, when Scorpia looks at her with shining eyes and for _some_ reason Catra sees _blue_ shining back at her instead of brown. It soothes her, sometimes, when she is just lonely and she can find an excuse to be in Scorpia’s presence and reluctantly soak in some affection – at least until she does it _wrong_ , not the way Catra likes, not the way Adora would do it, and then suddenly Catra is angry all over again, storming away.

Scorpia is a temporary problem, and then she _isn’t_ , and she becomes Adora’s stand-in. Not right, not enough, a mix of soothing to her broken heart and a cutting reminder of what she has lost. Catra is sure Shadow Weaver paired them on purpose. She does not make any of the other Force Captains work together like she does Catra and Scorpia. Punishment for losing Adora, punishment for just daring to _be_ , punishment for always seeing Shadow Weaver for what she is.

Catra has endured a lifetime of punishments. She can take one more.

\--

Catra slumps on the floor, back to the wall and doing her best to ignore everyone around her. Her arm fucking stings, a burning sensation running along the length of the wound, but she does not want to clean it, not in front of Scorpia and Entrapta.

She always has to bury her unique tendencies – it is just what you do in the Horde. If it is not useful in battle, then can it. If it is, how can we turn you into a weapon. Her claws, Scorpia’s stinger – they know it well. She still is not about to start literally licking her wounds in front of the older woman. Entrapta is too distracted to notice, babbling on and _on_ about all the data she gathered from the Black Garnet experiment.

“That is _great_ , Entrapta, except we still fucking _lost_ and She-ra _fixed it_ ,” Catra reminds her, harshly, glaring across the room at where Entrapta and Scorpia are hunched together. She regrets her words instantly – not because of what she said, but because it draws attention to her. With nothing more demanding than Entraptra’s nonsensical rambling to distract her, Scorpia focuses in on Catra’s wound the moment she looks at her.

“Oh my gosh, how did I miss you getting injured? I’m a terrible friend, and Force Captain! Hold still just a moment, I know I have a first aid kit around here somewhere,” Scorpia rambles in her too-well-meaning, too-caring way. Catra’s fur bristles. She may have lost the seige, but she is not so weak she cannot take care of a simple wound. She glares at Scorpia as she goes digging about the crowded room. The venom does not deter her as she finds the beaten box and carries it over.

“I am not going to my post-defeat _shaming_ meeting with Hordak wearing a bandage,” Catra grits out as Scorpia drops down beside her with the box.

“Oh, no, I get that. You are too tough for that,” Scorpia assures, and if it were anyone else Catra would think she was mocking her, but it is _Scorpia_ , so she just continues to ignore her by staring blankly ahead, “but at least let me clean it! I am not letting my bestie get an infection.”

“Then it looks like you don’t have to worry about my wound,” Catra forces out, ears flattening to her head. She does not know how many times she has to tell Scorpia they are not friends before she believes her.

“But you clearly haven’t cleaned it!” Scorpia rebukes. Apparently it will be a few times more.

Catra sighs. She is tired from fighting She-ra, tired from getting her ass kicked, tired of _losing_. She still has to figure out how she is going to spin this to Hordak. She just does not have it in her to fight with Scorpia right now, not when she does not actually _want_ to.

She holds out her arm and Scorpia squeals in delight as she sets to work unpacking the medkit.

\--

The fort is a defensible position, now they _have_ it. It is still important to _keep_. It should not be hard to defend, not even against Adora. Actually, scratch that, _especially_ against Adora. Adora is a headstrong, charging bull-style fighter. If you want to take down a fort you need to be careful, use timing and planning. That was how Catra had seized the place initially. She is not worried about the place falling – but she also cannot let the Rebellion regain control of the pass.

“You’re in charge, Scorpia. Take my old squad with you. They are mostly useless without me and Adora, but Lonnie has some brains in her, and Rogelio’s strong,” Catra tells Scorpia, not even looking up from the map she is leaning over.

“What about me?” Kyle pipes up. Catra did not even know he was here. She turns to glare at him as Scorpia _squeals_ in delight. Kyle is too stupid to look admonished, but he takes the hint to vacate the room.

“You’re trusting _me_ with the fort? With such an important mission?” Scorpia squeals, eyes practically shining with joy as she brings her pincers to her mouth to cover her gasp. Catra glares up at her, ears twitching in irritation at the high pitch tones.

“Even you can’t mess this up,” she explains, already dropping her gaze down to the map.

She meant it to be discouragement from Scorpia _looking_ at her like that, and maybe also encouragement in her ability to carry out the mission. She did not mean it as a _challenge_.

\--

Scorpia disobeyed her today. It was a first. At least, the first time she disobeyed real orders on the field. Scorpia is _still_ calling them the Super Pal Trio no matter how many times she tells her to stop.

That disobedience also probably saved her life. In the heat of the moment Catra had not _cared_. All that mattered was keeping Adora – keeping She-ra – the way she was. Catra is growing too complacent to her destructive tendencies. She did not even have a moment of clarity that saved her, Scorpia had to have it for her. Catra is grateful – she has no intention of dying for the Horde.

(It would have been dying for Adora).

She should be mad at Scorpia. She is, a bit. She mostly just feels relieved and tired, though. And cold. Cold is a very big part of what she feels.

“I’m only letting you under here so your body heat can keep me warm,” Catra tells Scorpia, despite the way she curls into her side under the blanket. Scorpia is getting too friendly, trying to establish a stupid game night or something. Catra needs to remind her of the distance between them. Still, it is nice – to touch someone, to have a reason to without shame and judgement. To do it on her own terms and not have to accept Scorpia’s random, crushing hugs as the only affection she gets to have.

“But you are practically a furnace compared to me! Must be all that fur. Gosh, it seems useful. Is your fur soft?” Scorpia asks, full-on snuggling into her now. Catra wraps her tail tightly around herself and grits her teeth. The only way Scorpia could feel her fur would be if Catra made an effort to let her – to find a cutout in her uniform free of chitin and drape an exposed part of herself over Scorpia’s skin. She is _not_ doing that, and she does not want to.

“Scorpia, you don’t ask people about their fur,” Catra says, evenly, because she really does not want to get mad at the other woman right now. Anger takes energy – energy she does not have, not after the fight and the disappointment of losing Adora.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that! I’ll be quiet now.”

Yeah, right.

“Um, but speaking of questions to _ask people_ ,” Scorpia starts again, immediately, nervously clicking her pinchers and shuffling a little where she is curled around Catra, “you know, we’ve been friends for a while now, and it occurred to me I don’t even know your favourite colour.”

Catra fights her instinct to stiffen. She feels her tail puffing up, making her even colder in the harsh northern air. Scorpia is just trying to get to know her, she reasons. It is what she has been doing all day. Catra glares straight ahead.

“Blue,” she grits out. She hates her answer. Hates the only two reasons why, one a shameful secret and the other a shining beacon for the _enemy_.

“Really? Wow, I never would have guessed that. I guess we do all wear red just because of the uniform. I mean, I didn’t pick my-“

Catra tunes her out. She gave her answer. Scorpia is clearly just being _Scorpia_. The reasons for her question do not matter.

“- I’ve been wondering that ever since it occurred to me during a mission a few weeks back. Oh! What is your favourite number, Catra?” she tunes back in to hear Scorpia say.

Catra stiffens, claws snapping out as she stares blankly out into the shifting white of the ice-filled ocean.

“Catra?” Scorpia asks from above her, pulling back to look down at her. Cold air rushes in the sudden space between them, making her fur stand on end. That is the only reason she bristles like this.

Catra stands harshly, letting the blanket fall away from her shoulders.

“Crap like that doesn’t matter,” Catra manages, voice strained. She turns away and hurries after Entrapta into the cargo hold, out of the harsh cold and away from Scorpia.

Scorpia spent all day with Adora, no matter how out of it she had been. Catra should have known some shit like this would happen. Her past haunting her in a very literal way. She digs her claws into her palms to keep her arms from shaking, pain grounding herself.

Catra wedges herself between some boxes in the cargo hold and shivers by herself in the cold. She has always been by herself, anyway. Best not to get used to relying on someone else again – she knows how that ends, now.

\--

She does not know why Scorpia came for her.

She does, but she cannot let herself believe it. She cannot trick herself into believing someone cares about her – wants her. That is how Shadow Weaver walked away and she ended up here, in her place, shaking and alone.

Scorpia comes for her, and she lashes out like she should have done the first time Scorpia smiled at her. Like she should have done the first time Adora beat her in a training exercise. The first time Adora held her hand and softly promised her “We’ll always be friends.”

She lashes out because she cannot trust anyone, not even herself. She lashes out because she _deserves_ to be here, rotting away for being so naïve, so stupid. She lashes out because she _wants_ to be here, wants for all the people who have told her she is not enough to just _shut up_ , even if it takes ending herself to earn their silence.

She lashes out so Scorpia will leave before she drags her down with her. She lashes out because she knows, now, that Scorpia is in love with her, and she has done enough stupid things because of love for the both of them. Maybe it will finally convince Scorpia to move on and find someone actually worthy of her attention. Someone who could actually return it instead of sitting here, secretly hoping for her old white knight to reappear.

If she actually did, Catra thinks she would save Hordak the trouble and take herself out first.

She manages not to cry until Scorpia is gone. _Good riddance_. She does not know if she means that about the older woman or herself. It does not matter. She will give them one last show – it is all she is good for. She will go out clawing and spitting, like she always has.

\--

Catra is riding a high she has never known before, elation like an adrenaline rush running through her. An entire day of _winning_ , of victory and people practically kneeling before her. A _party_ , thrown in this old wreck of a ship. Best of all _Adora_ , bound and kneeling for her, her precious sword safe in Catra’s hands.

Catra has been happy, and in love, and even _victorious_ before, however briefly, but the cocktail of endorphins running through her after falling so _low_ is really doing something for her. She pulls Scorpia aside, giddy and elated, practically gushing to her about what will finally happen when they return to the Fright Zone.

And then Scorpia stops her in her tracks. “Or, you know, counterpoint: We don’t go back at all,” she says, almost nervously, from over Catra’s shoulder.

Catra is _confused_. Everything she has worked for her entire life, ripping at Etheria, at herself, at _Adora_ , and Scorpia wants her to what – just walk away? They may be friends, however reluctantly, but if Catra could not walk away for Adora, Scorpia is delusional if she thinks she will do it for her.

Except Scorpia tries to convince her she should do it for herself. “This is the happiest I have ever seen you. Scratch that, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you happy, period,” Scorpia argues. Unbidden, moments and memories that refute Scorpia’s statement come welling up. Catra outright stares at her, feeling a blush rise on her face as she is forced to look away. 

Catra may be high on endorphins right now, but the idea that this is the first time she has ever been _happy_ is ludicrous. She used to be such a happy kid – before Shadow Weaver stamped that out of her. Even afterwards, moments on rooftops, play fighting as they sparred, and giving chase through abandoned foundries all come to mind. How can Scorpia even think such a thing?

Because Scorpia never met that Catra, she realizes. She died the day Adora walked away from her. Because every one of those moments revolved around a central figure, and it was not _Catra_ , not even in her own head. Because Catra does not know how to be happy without the one person who was always by her side.

“Forget Hordak,” Catra could, gladly, “forget Adora,” her blush is back, looking down and away as if that will hide it – she _can’t_ , “forget all of them. We could rule the Crimson Waste together, just the two of us,” Scorpia tries. Catra stares at her. “We could, you know, be happy,” Scorpia is blushing just as much as Catra now. Catra knows what this is. Scorpia has been in love with her for a while now, even if Catra was too hung up on Adora to notice it. But Catra – cannot forget Adora. She cannot _let her go_. She cannot abandon everything she has fought for – not after _everyone_ she has fought for has left her.

“I- I don’t-“ Catra has to look away. She doesn’t _want_ that. Going back to the Horde will give her all she has wanted all her life – promotion and recognition, success, _proving herself_. She will have Adora, have won. “I have to go check on the prisoner,” Catra manages, turning away.

It does not matter what makes her happy, or even what she wants. This is what she has worked for her entire life. If she walks away, every moment of heartbreak, every sleepless night lost to nightmares, every scar littering her skin – they are all worthless. _She_ is worthless, a failure, if she gives up. She has lost _everything_ for this – how could she even think to walk away now?

\--

Scorpia is – getting on her last nerve. That is not _new_ for them certainly – Catra might go as far as to say it is _standard_. But today is a balancing act, tricking Adora _twice_ and relying on Double Trouble to be able to put her money where their mouth is. Scorpia is practically _goofing off_ , between the constant attempts at reconnecting and the _confetti canon_. Catra tries ignoring her, and snapping at her, and _correcting_ her, but the other woman seems determined to try and needle her plan, or at least a friendship confession, out of her.

Neither is going to happen. This plan is too important to risk letting slip, and Scorpia cannot keep her mouth shut to save her life. Besides, Catra is done trusting other people. She has been trying to put space between her and Scorpia since the moment they met. She was not very successful. Scorpia trying to stop her during the portal incident showed her how wrong she had been to let her in – it showed her how weak she was becoming, feeling the guilt she does over it. So of course Scorpia brings it up, and ice floods through her veins. Luckily, Adora _finally_ shows up to walk into her trap.

It is not until later, trap sprung and Double Trouble firmly in place, that Scorpia finds her again. Catra had been trying to get a quiet moment to herself, up high where it _used_ to be only Adora would follow her. Scorpia climbs the scaffolding of the Fright Zone to bother her.

Catra is trying to push down the reminders of the portal, her failure, _Adora_ , and one of them comes strolling over with a gentle smile and warm care. She turns away when Scorpia tries to comfort her – except Scorpia is not trying to befriend her, she is trying to _manipulate_ her, because she brings up _Entrapta_.

Catra _snaps._ She lashes out, pushes her away. It is the only way she knows to keep herself safe, to avoid another Entrapta. “I don’t need to explain myself to you. We are _not friends_.”

Scorpia starts avoiding her outside of their duties, after that. When they are together she still tries, still pushes and needles like always. But she does not seek Catra out, at least not as often as she used to.

 _Good_ , Catra thinks.

She fucking misses her.

\--

Maybe it is knowing they are finally winning, no matter how hollow it feels. Maybe it is all the sleepless nights breaking down her resolve that she _is_ alone, she _should be_ alone, she can’t trust anyone. Maybe Catra just misses her.

Catra reaches out to Scorpia. And she gets no response.

Catra deserves that, she always has. She has spent the last few years trying to _show_ Scorpia that. But now that she has almost everything she has worked for – power, the war nearly won, the Princesses and Adora scrambling – she remembers back to the Crimson Waste. When she and Scorpia were free from all this, at least for a day, and she felt _happy_.

She feels hollow, now. And so she says it, down the comm to Scorpia, even as Scorpia gives her the silent treatment. Catra cannot outright say it – cannot admit her regret and mistakes. But she can acknowledge this is not what she thought it would be, and hope Scorpia can read between the lines.

Scorpia keeps saying nothing. Catra makes demands, and then lashes out, and then calls her name in a plea. The comm stays silent.

Catra _knows_ in that moment. She knows, but her heart thunders too loudly, her throat feels too tight. She needs the proof. Everybody has left her – _everybody_. Scorpia was the one person too blind and too kind to ever do so. Scorpia was the person she tried to push away the hardest and she stayed. She cannot have left Catra.

Catra knew the moment the comm line stayed dead, but her heart still breaks when she manages to make her way back to the Fright Zone and she sees the note folded on Scorpia’s bunk. She does not need to read it – she knows what it says.

It hurts to read anyway. To have that proof.

\--

Catra told Adora she was going to be better. That she was going to try.

Trying is all she has been doing her entire life. Trying to win, trying to be strong, trying to earn approval, trying to push down her weaknesses, trying to stand alone. It was never enough. Scorpia was right, in the Crimson Waste. She had never seen Catra happy. Catra held on until the very last second, unable to let herself leave the darkness for fear of the light.

When Adora smiles at her, relieved every time her eyes land on her bare neck despite everything between them, Catra wonders how she ever could have feared that light. It feels so warm and kind. It was the only thing that ever made her happy before, when she was stuck in the darkness of the Fright Zone with nothing but Adora as a nightlight.

Scorpia had that same light in her. Maybe it was a princess thing, surviving the Horde’s attempts to brand darkness into their very hearts. Maybe Catra was just that much weaker than them all along. They stood up to her, in the end, didn’t they? Adora walked away, Entrapta defied her, Scorpia left, and then finally Adora gave her the ultimatum that turned her around.

 _If you think hiding from the people you hurt will make you feel better, we’ll drop you off and you’ll never have to see them again. You’ll never have to see me again_.

Entrapta is there, waiting and half-listening. Catra finds she feels less sick at the sight of her than she thought she would. The memories of all her nightmares about Entrapta’s fate are far worse than the princess standing before her, eager to remove the chip. She does not want to never see Entrapta, or Scorpia, or Adora again. Entrapta removes the chip happily, comforting her as she goes to leave, accepting her apology like it takes nothing.

Catra can’t help but wonder if Scorpia will be as forgiving as Entrapta. It is in her nature – maybe even the nature of _light._ Part of Catra thinks Scorpia could never hold a grudge, but Catra never really thought Scorpia could stand up to her, walk away.

Catra also never thought she would be able to curl up in Adora’s lap again and purr, feeling Adora’s hands come up to support her despite her annoyance. She has been wrong about a lot.

So Catra thinks about Scorpia, and she worries.

\--

Catra is shocked at how easily she is found a place in the castle. She trails after Adora for only a day before Glimmer takes her in as an advisor. Catra is grateful for the work - she is surprised by the acceptance. Not from Glimmer – she and Sparkles understand each other, now – but from everyone else. The other princesses, even Frosta and Mermista, all seem willing to believe she is trying.

Scorpia hugs her in the heat of the moment, right after the Heart. Catra is not fool enough to believe that will be the end of it. She is not expecting a confrontation - even in _battle_ Scorpia is nice. She still dreads the conversation that will happen when she and Scorpia finally get a moment alone. Scorpia is nice to her, if unsure. She looks away whenever Catra settles in Adora’s lap, or holds her hand, but she usually looks away _towards_ Perfuma, and Catra can already see how that is going to go. Good for them, it is what they deserve.

Catra avoids time alone with Scorpia for three days, after everything. It is hard considering Scorpia is living just down the hall from her – it is made easier by the fact that Catra and Adora are practically attached to one another. Catra paces back and forth one night, in their room, her tail swishing as Melog follows on her heels despite her having no destination.

“I- I want to apologize to her. I haven’t yet. But I also-“ Catra cuts off, hands fisted into her hair and staring into the void. Adora’s hands on her are gentle and comforting as she pulls her into a loose hug, giving her plenty of space to pull away.

“You also…?” Adora prompts, squeezing her just a little and dropping a kiss into her hair.

Catra sighs. “I need to apologize for telling her we weren’t friends. I need to apologize for trying to make it true. I need to apologize for ignoring her feelings for me,” Catra lists off, pretends she does not notice the way Adora’s grip spasms on her. She can _hear_ the questions dying in her girlfriend’s throat as she tries not to distract Catra. It makes Catra purr, just a little, the traces of jealousy assuring her of Adora’s affection. Still, she is grateful Adora stamps it down, because she has one confession greater than all the others.

“I want to thank her,” she whispers, low against Adora’s shoulder. “I _need_ to thank her.”

\--

Catra needs an in. She could just go and talk to Scorpia. She will not and everybody knows it. She needs a fallback in case this all goes horribly wrong. After their talk, Adora clears her desk and gives it to Catra for the night. She does not even try to call her to bed. She just lets her work, claws skittering over a borrowed tracker pad and hands tracing map lines on the scrolls on the desk.

Catra draws up her plan and, the next morning, tucks the scroll with it into her belt. She nervously makes her way to Scorpia’s door and knocks. She does not get an answer. Catra ignores the way that makes her heart turn to ice. Scorpia’s senses are dull, average – there would be no way for her to know it is Catra outside her door. She is not avoiding her – she simply is not home.

Catra wanders the castle, eventually finding Scorpia in the gardens, walking Emily. Catra kind of wants to make fun of her for it, make jokes – but she knows that might not be welcome, not with her claw marks still in Emily’s hull.

Emily spots her first, whirring a warning that has Scorpia turning her head. Catra _winces_ at the hopeful smile Scorpia throws her way. Steeling herself, she walks forward, hand reaching down to her belt.

“I have a proposal for the next Alliance meeting I want to run by you,” she starts in lieu of greeting. Formalities are not her thing, and she is too nervous to delay right now. Scorpia blinks at her, wide-eyed and _hopeful_.

“You’re- you’re asking me for my opinion? On a _proposal_?” Scorpia asks, excited and incredulous. Catra has to control the irritated twitch in her tail. Scorpia has a _point_. Catra is a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. She was the best strategist the war had ever seen. Running one of her ideas by Scorpia almost sounds laughable without the context.

“The proposal involves you,” she admits, gaze fixed determinedly down as she pulls the scroll from her belt.

“Oh,” Scorpia says, quiet and confused, as she takes the offered scroll and carefully opens it. Catra watches her expression, seeing the confusion and then understanding bloom there. She watches the conflict of emotions that plays out there: understanding and denial, excitement and fear, hope and nerves. Finally, Scorpia looks up.

“You want to rebuild the Fright Zone?” she asks. Catra shakes her head, forcing herself to meet Scorpia’s eyes.

“I want to tear down the Fright Zone. I want to rebuild the Scorpion Kingdom,” she corrects.

\--

She does actually apologize with words and not just action, a few days later, the night before the first day they will spend working together assessing the wreckage left behind. Scorpia doesn't need her to, but Catra _does_. The proposal had taken some explaining, but it had been met with unanimous approval from the Princess Alliance. The joy and feeling of acceptance that had washed over Scorpia’s face then might have been worth all her mistakes.

“I’m sorry. I was a terrible friend to you, and I was doing it on purpose. I wanted to push you away, to prove that you didn’t actually care. And then when I succeeded, I broke my own heart,” Catra tells her, staring indistinctly out the window. Perfuma says she should look people in the eye when talking to them, when apologizing. Catra cannot do it and see the _agreement_ to her statement, even if she knows it is true.

“It’s okay. I know you were in a bad place. I understand why you did it. I just – would like to actually be your friend now. I want you to let me in,” Scorpia tells her, reaching out a claw towards her. Scorpia cannot take her hand, she knows. She was present for the twenty minutes Perfuma and Scorpia spent trying to figure out how to hold hands after an Alliance meeting. Perfuma had to hold Scorpia’s claws while Scorpia merely basked in the attention, her pinchers too sharp for her to risk using any kind of pressure against someone else’s skin. Catra knows a bit of what that is like, and her claws _retract_.

Scorpia wants to hold her hand, but she cannot. Not unless Catra reaches out for her. Lets her in. Taking a breath to steady herself, Catra shuffles over to face Scorpia and carefully lays her hands over her claws. Scorpia _squeals_ in delight and Catra fights down her blush.

“I- wanted to thank you. For helping me with this project, and all the little things you have done to help me adjust here, but also – for leaving,” Catra tells her, low and quiet. Scorpia stares at her in shock. Catra flicks an ear in amusement. She would have been surprised to hear her say it, too. “Double Trouble was the one who delivered the final blow, but you leaving really made me realize how dark my path had gotten. Dark enough that when Adora offered, I wanted to reach for her light,” Catra explains, shrugging a little.

Scorpia starts crying, flinging herself forward to wrap Catra in a crushing hug. Catra manages not to stiffen under the embrace for the first time.

Cautiously, experimentally, she raises her tail and wraps it around Scorpia’s bare arm. Scorpia gasps, pulling back just enough to stare as Catra’s soft fur runs over her skin. A smile blooms across her face.

They are going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Catra's favourite colour is a reference to my headcannon of her having feline colourblindness. I have [multiple](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25415800) [fics](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535140) about it, as well as it being referenced in others.  
> Her favourite number could honestly be the subject of its own fic so I decided to just leave that vague for now.
> 
> For those curious, some of the specific eps this references for people who didn’t JUST finish rewatching the series: S1EP04, S1EP13, S2EP04, S2EP05, S3EP01 I think??, S3EP03, S4EP03-S4EP06, and Noelle’s fic-S5EP06.


End file.
